Do Whatever You Want

I started watching AKA Mr. Chow (2023) for one reason: to learn more about Tina Chow. The documentary is, as its title suggests, really about her ex husband Michael Chow, the actor and painter who eventually earned his fortune as a restaurateur. But Tina Chow has been a style icon of mine for over a decade and as someone with a deep investment in the late '70s/early '80s downtown NYC art scene, I wanted direct witness to her inherent and seamless cool. But even as the doc devotes a meaningful chunk of time to their lives together, it isn't about her. It handles their relationship with what I'd consider a respectable amount of delicacy, and it's obvious that Michael is still affected by her death. She was one of countless visionaries we lost prematurely to the AIDS epidemic and the senselessness of such a fate is still a raw spot. May Ronald Reagan never rest in any sort of peace.

Anyway, what I learned about Michael was pretty neat, too. I didn't know much about him and had gotten the mistaken impression that he was a nerd who had scored a cool chick to build his empire with, but it turns out he was actually kind of cool himself as a participant of London's Swingin' '60s. I was tickled to find out he had briefly been married to Grace Coddington, and learned his establishment Mr. Chow was founded as a fuck you to the racist narrative that Chinese immigrants to the UK were only good for laundromats and restaurants-- if that's the case, he said, might as well create an intentionally high quality Chinese dining experience. So he jacked up his prices, hired Italian servers and accepted art as payment for food from the local art scene, a practice he maintained in his Los Angeles and New York locations.

The thing I liked most about Michael Chow's story is that he did whatever he wanted, whether it made sense or not. I'm someone who struggles with this and feels married to the idea of carved-out pathways even when they fail me (which is often, if I'm being honest with myself). In one scene, he strolls in a circle surrounded by his LA restaurant staff, lecturing them on the importance of details: eye contact, real bow ties, the ability to fold a napkin in one fluid movement. Meanwhile, according to the reviews, the food at Mr. Chow comes secondary to the experience. But there's a Warholian artistry to that, creating a restaurant that's all ambience. The consistent paparazzi photo feed of his big name clientele is proof of concept, even if the food is allegedly unremarkable.

The takeaway here is not "be middling but look expensive", I promise. It's more that even if people tell you what works, you don't have to listen to it, especially if listening to it would ultimately hold you back. It's taken me decades to loose myself of the shame that comes from being skeptical of career advice. I'm still not fully healed. But more recently, and more often, I've been making the effort to do what I want, even if it doesn't make sense. Living is cumulative experience, professional experience. Time spent making art is never wasted. It's been easy for me to discredit my work when it isn't an immediate moneymaker, but attempting to appeal to a fickle market is just as risky an effort, if not more. So do what you want, like Michael. And dress really well, like Tina. And if you want to wear clip-on bow ties, that's up to you.